Brother I am So Fucking Tired.

but forward we must go. for better or worse. i just wish it didn't feel like the world was on fire every minute of every day. kind of sucks.

but what have i been up to in the mean time?

i finished a 3d model, from mesh to rig to uv map it was all me babey! and already i wanna redo it! my sispheayen torture....

i'm still part time at my work but they just became their own department, so perhaps in the future they'll find a full time position for me, which means more hours, but also health insurance finally! first thing i'm doing is getting my teeth fixed.

very recently started some serious effort towards my weight loss goal. 40 pounds by february. shouldnt be too hard right? ive already lost three pounds since july started. but i gotta tell you, 10k steps every day is fuckign ROUGHHHHHHHHHHH and i dont wanna do it but i GOTTA. AND IT SUCKS. AND IT SUCKS. AND IT SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!!!!!

i read now. im working through all the shaman king omnibuses ive bought, ive made it to book two. not bad considering it took me like three days for the first one. also shaman king feels good to read through again, hits me right in my old nostalgic heart. also silva is still hot. imagine that.

i'm also slowly working through my plamo backlog, so far i've made kamen rider build, calamity gundam and a greninja. and like half of ex-aid but hot damn does he have a million schmillion shitty ass stickers to put on his model and it's driving me insane. also! i caught myself with my nippers, they've tasted blood i need new ones now.

we're officially going to japan again! early next year though so we can catch a snow festival. i need to brush up on my jp skills, maybe i can actually hold a small bus conversation or something.

my personal style has changed once again. i'm trying to do a gyaru thing now, despite not being much of a heavy makeup user since like what, middle school i think? my foundation matches better this time at least, blessed be tirtir for having ghost white as an available shade (i'm not paper white but i'm very fair with a certain undertone that i can't find stateside, plus its not as cakey. do still need a setting spray though)

have a goal now for the end of the year. i wanna get good enough at blender to render lil slice of life videos of my ocs the same way gensho yasuda does, they fucking rule. and also it would get people to look at my stuff maybe. and also it would get me to post things. which is really what i need to do above all, BUT PEOPLE SCARE ME!! Dx the horror of being known, it pains me so!!

put on your big girl pants and put yourself out there dummy, you'll live.