work is slow for me today so instead i shall blog, no tattling on me okay?

just visited my sweet sweet partner for a week and it was not nearly long enough

perhaps next time i'll stay longer, forever even.

but alas, the state of the world currently calls for us to be separate and making our individual ways towards that beautiful goal. i tell you what, living in cali will be such a jump in expenses, and surroundings for that matter. i feel i've made known how i don't care for the lack of trees.

and apparently neither does my skin, because i broke out probably the worst i've ever broke out while visiting this last go around. so much so that the next day when i went to my doctors appointment to have my medication refilled, he asked if i also wanted an antibiotic for my face and ofcourse i said yes. it got bad during my period this time around and has stayed bad this whole following week afterwards, an absolute curse i tell you. the sooner i get my birth control the better at this point, although i need insurance maybe first. open enrollment does kick off soon if i remember the timeline correctly.

i also need to make an appointment for my teeth fixing, although? when i went to get a diagnosis? visual inspection? the word escapes me but they looked at how absolutely FUKT my mouth is and said it called for a root canal in both my front teeth and i don't know if i agree with that. i'm no tooth specialist but from all the people i've talked to that have had one they've said they have needed to keep going back after getting one to like, update it? fix it? you know, further general teeth maintenance after said procedure. don't like that, makes me nervous.

in other news i haven't touched an art program in months, years even. decades it feels like. could be any combination of reasons, mostly i'm thinking its the whole *gestures widely at the world around me* That. going on right now. that has been going on around me for awhile.

also its too hot to be thinking creatively and working at my very messy desk in my very small room that heats up to the point i feel as though i'm being air-fried to death. just too much to deal with for such a fragile creature with an even more fragile constitution as i. you understand right?

speaking of fragile, i sit here with maybe 75% of my hearing working, as i tried to correct the issue i've been having with my ear that my doctor confirmed by peeking in and poking the blockage that i suspected was there but could never confirm. tried to fix it with an ear cleaning kit and only made the problem worse, now there is liquid still stuck in there and i have to call him back to hopefully right my terrible wrong. hopefully. maybe.

update: so good news i can hear again. literally scheduled the appointment the day after so i only suffered for a day with no hearing. but ya know, thats another 100 bucks no insurance to have him power wash some shit out of my ear (its why he suggested i try myself first i suppose) and by the way that shit was the size of my pinky nail and the color of burnt cheese.

absolutely grossed out my boyfriend when i showed him a picture but i mean like, i asked if he wanted to see it when i washed it out the first time and he was like ew. sure. so like i had to deliver right. and ofcourse the first thing he sends back is EW. hell yeah.

love him, really do. thats my bestie.